are you still at the devil's house?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
