i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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