Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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