She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
