The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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