you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
