I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
