Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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