Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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