what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
did you just send me my own nude
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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