I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
