So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
