I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
