I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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