you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
