i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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