They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
