Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
