It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
