No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
