the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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