I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
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