Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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