Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
