my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
