I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
