shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
