he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
