i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
