i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
