Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
