Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
