Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
