so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
