It's like a parade of train wrecks.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The adults are the big ones right?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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