Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
