yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
