Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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