Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
