what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
she smelled like a LAN party
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Randomize
