dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
