in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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