someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
