stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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