I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
