I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
