he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
