very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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