I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize