tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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