Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
True college students do jello shots in the library
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