no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
