What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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