Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
