I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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