hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
