He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
i've created a new STD.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
